Half and Half (Doodle)

Half and Half

[IMAGE] A6 indian ink pen brush and watercolour

Totally exhausted with a superwoman stance. 

CFS is not who I am, but shapes so much. 

I’m an artist, but not able to reach full speed.  I’m not even an artist, I work in an office in IT. I’m not even doing THAT day to day because I’m so ill.  But even in the office my blood is my blood and my heart is my own.

I’m a good friend, daughter, wife, sister.  I’m not there to help anyone.

I’m strong, defiant, a fighter – bursting with positivity.  I’m weak, deflated, defeated – a natural pessimist.

I’m happy and content.  I’m unhappy and unsettled.

I’m not one thing or the other.  I’m half and half a hundred times over.

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Posted in Art, Artist, CFS, Disability, Doodle, M.E., SelfPortrait, Sketchbook
11 comments on “Half and Half (Doodle)
  1. Puglet says:

    I think thats me today too, but with a round tummy full of food and fresh tattoos, defiant but needing to be coddled a bit.

  2. I love the meaning behind this peice of your art, I think many of us can relate to the feelings you’ve noted through this image ^_^ fantastic job!

  3. Maria says:

    Half and half… interesting concept. I relate.
    I don’t get depressed anymore though. Since I stopped dragging myself around trying, trying, trying… and realized I was doing it all wrong and had to learn to live with the limits, a few years ago, even when I wasn’t as ill as I got to be later on, I haven’t been down. I’m thankful for that. My moods don’t have much to do with whether I’m feeling better or I’m a living dead weighing a ton stuck in bed, anymore. I think that’s an advantage in my case. I don’t know how I do it. My mother says it’s in the genes, that we don’t tend towards depression, more to anxiety. Which isn’t a good thing either but still.
    Sorry, I don’t even remember why I’m saying this :DDD
    But yes, I relate.

  4. deena says:

    The iconography and message behind this piece is brilliant! I only wish you could exhibit some of this work – and become famous – raising large monties both for yourself and for the cause! ha xxx

  5. deena says:

    monies… i meant monies not “monties”… lol, hmmm its moments like these we need a “mintie”!

  6. Tim (timtfj) says:

    It’s excellent – but the picture says it better than my words can.

  7. Tim (timtfj) says:

    Sorry, the link to my Twitter page – should be http://twitter.com/timtfj – doesn’t work in previous comment. I typed more in the box than just the address. Amended here.

  8. Jo Ind says:

    When I saw this image in thumbnail, I thought it was a woman walking triumphantly through a door. Lying on a bed or walking through a door???

    • Lying on a bed. But my dad also saw it as walking through a doorway for a year before I pointed out it was a bed.

      But that sort of works with the story of the drawing – one thing and yet another.

  9. Cynthia says:

    I totally took a different route in interpreting this image…Thought the top half was quivering, feeling weak…and the bottom half looked like legs that felt like cement blocks…A feeling I well know. :) I like it a lot though. That ‘s what is so cool about art, it means a different thing to every viewer….I’m an artist and I always LOVED people’s stories of what they saw or got from my work…So interesting and individual…

    (I’m on BlogFrog…I believe I saw your name there…I will follow you if you are)
    Blessings.

  10. Elizabeth says:

    You persist. Always in every day a challenge. the more fatigue drowns me, the more I realize how high you set the bar for yourself. I don’t think you have let any dreams down, or been anything other than steadfast. Love Beth

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RachelCreative

Rachel Groves, Artist
Lichfield, Staffordshire, UK

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