Fine In My Own World (Drawing)

fine in my own world

[IMAGE] Fine In My Own World – Ink and watercolour. A6.

A little drawing of my conclusion to the confusion and brow beating which followed after watching the BBC’s Culture Show TV programme about the Royal Academy’s Summer Open Exhibition 2008.

I was distraught that I’m not a proper artist.  Here I saw so much fantastic art.  Proper art.  Not like mine. I was so upset (again) that I don’t have the physical resources to fulfill my potential, to do the work I want to do, to develop my practice – to grow at anything more than a snails pace.  That what I do is I tinker and play but I’m not a real artist.

I concluded by the next day that whilst I am in my own world I am fine.  I can cope with the limitations of my illness, of my life.  As soon as I compare myself to others it does tend to send me into turmoil.

Out there is so … well … much.  So many opportunites and complexities and layers and life.  It all moves along at what now, to me, seems like a fast pace.  It passes me by as I struggle to live within this simple existence of mine shaped by the limits brought by my illness.

I think the trick is to tap into the outside world and adapt it to my needs.  But not to try and measure myself against anyone else.  Nuture, tend, grow, learn – but don’t pressure or kick myself for not measuring up.

I wanted to suggest a world outside of mine which is complex and confusing – but also full of beauty and potential and light.

Of course there isn’t really a distinct “my world” and “external world”.  But sometimes it just feels a bit like my happy yet plodding life is in a bubble and when it touches the “real world” I can feel a bit inadequate.

Oh.  That’s a lot of words.  I don’t usually like to use this many words explaining a drawing.  Hmmm.  I think I want to expand on the background but try and assure you that I am fundamentally happy but sometimes struggling with how I fit into the bigger picture.  THIS is why I don’t use lots of words normally!


  1. If you really really need to know, I feel your art resembles to John Lennon. And I like it very much. I can picture the simple drawings like his or yours, actually look very good on big canvas.

    As for feeling of different world, I sometimes use “Harry Potter’s magical world”. It describes my feelings of becoming foreign to able world, and belonging to invisible world…

  2. I do think it would take more than the fingers on 2 hands to count the people you reach. That’s not nothing!

  3. A great post which I can totally relate to. For me personally there is definately a “my world” and a “external world”. When they collide too frequently I then have a third world called “Chaos”

  4. You ARE a proper artist, if art is about expressing things to people that cause them to stop, even for a second, and relate differently to their own world…

    M xxx

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